“How was your day, dear?”

Ron Moyne

My story begins at the home of my fiancée who lives in Denton, Texas at the Robson Ranch community. Robin attended her monthly luncheon with residents known as “The Woods Ladies,” leaving me in unfamiliar surroundings and with her two dogs. If dogs could talk, what would they say about me? Tigger, the tiny one, always gives me those piercing Yorkie looks as though I had not earned his approval to marry his mama. Mikey sleeps a lot and seems indifferent to everything.

It was noon and all was well. A cup of coffee and some toast, then off to the shower. Robin worked diligently to set up everything in the house so all would be conducive to a comfortable home environment. She worked hard to please this Vietnam veteran by setting up the shower just for me.

I love those wonderful things she does for me. However, sometimes it works out a little better when the ladies want us men to install things for them around the house. Robin asked if I wanted a towel bar inside the shower. Men don’t often listen closely and I think I said “yes, dear, that would be great.” Apparently Robin decided to install it herself. It was a very heavy, telescoping bar. On it she placed a fluffy white bath towel and a wash cloth. She set a beautiful vase with a bamboo plant on the seat.

I ran the shower water but felt like something was not quite right. Robin’s dogs were sitting in front of the shower with looks on their faces as though they were expecting something interesting to happen. As if on que, all heck broke loose! I tugged on the towel and the bar slipped from the shower wall. It came crashing down, barely missing my head. The events didn’t stop there. The bar kept its momentum hitting the bamboo plant knocking it down spilling the contents over the shower floor. The pile of gravel used to weigh down the plant spread from end to end.

I turned off the water but got a little burnt from panic turning the faucet the wrong way. I tried setting my feet down flat on the shower mat but stepping on gravel was painful. I lost my balance. Thankfully I didn’t fall trying to clean the mess before Robin returned. However, best efforts seemed fruitless. I felt somehow I was transported through time to an episode of I Love Lucy. As if that wasn’t enough drama for one day, I glanced through the shower doors only to see Tigger and Mikey sitting there with what I would have to describe as doggie face smiles. They seemed very content that the fiancée of their mom might be an idiot! Then it happened. I heard the garage door. Robin had returned! I hurriedly dressed, slipping out to the living room turning on the TV. Robin entered, giving me a kiss. “How was your day, dear?” she smiled.

Men don’t ever want to admit to a woman that they completely messed things up in their absence, so I simply smiled and said, “Everything went smooth, honey.”

Robin walked to the bedroom then came back where I was sort of hiding behind our copy of the Robson Ranch Pioneer Press. “Honey, are you sure everything went okay while I was gone?”

“Well,” I replied with an embarrassed grin, “the dogs might have knocked something over in the shower.” The next sound I heard was me getting playfully whacked over the head with a pillow. “It’s okay, Big Dawg,” she responded, “I still love you!”